Is it possible to become an orphan at 55 years of age? I suppose technically one can, but I thought it an odd comment for the hospice nurse to make as my sister and I were waiting for the funeral home to pick up our mother from her nursing facility room. "If you need help adjusting, remember hospice is here to help..." she continued as we sat beside our mother's frail shell.
My sister and I (plus another sister who couldn't be there at the end) thought we were ready for the eventual loss of our mother. After all, she'd been suffering a long decline due to vascular dementia after the death of our father. Always organized and independent she had hidden the symptoms well, but her disease eventually required full-time nursing care. Two years of constant visits while working full time, doing her laundry, bringing her foods to entice her to eat, and monitoring her care became a routine that filled our days. Plenty of time to prepare for the end, we thought.
But...those two years were a world apart from this. Mom had been "gone" for several days - totally non-responsive when we began our vigil. Holding her hand while she continued to struggle for breath after breath as her body slowly gave up was heart-wrenching.
When her final gasp was finished and her heart eventually stopped I looked at my sister's tear-filled eyes through mine. For a moment I felt like an orphan, but then it was time to wipe away the tears and deal with the reality just as mom had always done.
When we live long enough we all become orphans, I guess. Losing your parent is hard.
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